Oh, To Be Throttled Down

CLASSES
Combat:
We worked on the unarmed fight. It's coming along. God, I wish I could see what we look like. What actor doesn't face that desire and frustration? If we could just see, we'd know how we did. One the other hand, most actors don't like seeing themselves on film. The fear of not saying exactly what we want is one of the things which keeps us from making directors say their most fantasized direction, "Great! Now tone it down a bit and we'll be there." I'm thinking that is a selfish thing for me. Just do something. It may not be what I want, but it could well be what is wanted.

I was grousing about my gloves after class to some classmates. They are made of cotton, and are great for the sword because my hands while not giant are large, and thick gloves make handling the swords pretty uncomfortable. Planning to get some light leather motorcycle gloves, which should not be too thick to work with comfortably, yet good for knapping because they are leather instead of cotton. They commented my knaps were really good. Now, there was a nice surprise. Part of my notes today were to not miss the last knap where I'm put down for the count. That was the one I missed, which made it funny, and the other knaps being good added to the humor. "SMACK!" "POW!" "ZAP!" "WHACK!" then ... " tap," and I'm down.

We're starting to add our own little adjustments to the choreography to tell our stories. Part of our story in Trina beating the Hell out of me in the unarmed fight is simple our sizes. I'm the biggest person in the class, and while she is pretty tall I'm still several inches taller, and she is very thin -- I most certainly am not. We'll be using the Kate and Petruccio scene we used together in Acting/Text for our combat scene. Of course, Petruccio doesn't run Kate through with a rapier, so that should make it fun, though a bit dark. Sort of Kate meets Mac.


Rehearsal:
We got our blocking set. It will adjust, but it is nice to have the big outline for it. I'm going to work on physicality this afternoon and evening, and maybe tomorrow morning. I'm going to see a show tonight, Pillowman which Geof fight directed, so I may not have much chance during work or this evening after the show, as I won't get home until after 11PM.

The first half hour was dedicated to my soliloquy. We've broken the rehearsals up this way, so Lori doesn't have to wait through my work. We did more with objectifying dagger, crown, and bible. Adding myself to the objects, for four. We did a Southern evangelist run through, which opened things up. Doesn't matter that my Southern accent is pretty lame right now. I could achieve similar things with many accents, but the Southern preacher approach is one of the strongest. I've different accents help me find different meanings and subtexts in contemporary work. Most say there is not subtext in Shakespeare, and I'm not expert enough to agree or not, but just finding meanings using different accents is different because of the rhythms and pitches they add. Apparently linguistic experts believe the accent in the Appalachians and Georgia and Alabama hill country is closer to the Elizabethan accent than any other modern accent. Some say it is because of the insularity of many of those communities, and their language roots going back to 17th and 18th century England. (I've heard one of the Southeast coastal islands is considered to be the closest.) In any case, saying Shakespeare's words with a Southern accent is fun as Hell.

The first half of the scene after Lady M enters, is starting to feel pretty good. The blocking, intention, and actions are at a point where they don't feel contrived or overly awkward, so that working the scene will really start to build. The last part is nearly to that point as well. I'm looking forward to the rest of the rehearsals.


OBSERVATIONS/CLICKS:
The day went much better than I feared. First I didn't let myself use feeling yucky as an excuse. Denying an excuse is not a hard thing to do when you are immersed in something you truly love. The hardest part is to remind yourself.

I think that helped, though probably not as much as getting on my feet. So often most of the fears go away once you get on your feet and work. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but a mere six years ago, before I started my path into acting, theatre, and the arts I had debilitating stage fright. I'd get whoozy, want to call in sick every time I had to talk in front of a group, and I'd even feel truly and physically ill. Something changed the first time I felt an audience's energy as a performer. Since then stage fright has been an obstacle I can deal with when needed, now it is often embraced and redirected into a source of energy. What terrified me for most of my life was making the commitment to go out there and be seen.

There is magic in being on the boards. Some say it is an adrenaline kick. I'd not disagree. A sunset filters out certain wavelengths of light producing reds, oranges, and yellows. When you describe the majesty and intoxicating beauty of a sunset in those terms you miss something, and if that is all you see in it you have proscribed a narrow and toneless life for yourself. Yes, being on the boards is an adrenaline kick, and that is just the beginning of description.

Letting go of the mundane, your limiting habits, your comfort zone, your preferred persona and self image. Much of the training whether it be physical, inside out methody work, outside in classical work, or so on, it is always working towards letting go of baggage, and filling yourself with unfamiliars. When you feel a little queasy or sick, even a little facility for working in an altered perspective or other world, lets you leave those limiters behind.

The rehearsal work has been helping with this. Recently I was thinking a lot of this work is two-pronged. First letting myself go places which are uncomfortable or unacceptable to me in everyday life. Second is to go to places I've never gone. I find myself working through things I don't let myself do and those I've no experience with. They are the struggles I had the first time I attempted acting, and they are with me yet. I do like to think I've made some progress. There are blocks built in for things I have done, and a void for those I've not experienced. I've been hung up in the past on how to make these things believable. Time for a Scott Smack Down. Just do them. Maybe I'll get a director to throttle me back some time...