Day Thirty TwoSighhhhh!

CLASSES:
Combat: We reviewed unarmed combat. We'd been so focused on swords for a while it was a little disconcerting at first. Like we were doing something totally new. I really had fun. Even got a few compliments from Geof on my reactions. It was great to be reminded how fun this stuff is.

I've been noticing how people carry their swords around. It is apparent which people have experience or training with weapons. They are aware of where the point of their sword is at all times. I suppose I notice it more because of the people without an understanding or weapons training. They scare me with the way the swords are flipped around and points in uncomfortable places. I will bring this up at our next class meeting.

Voice: Did more of the work with the tunnel visualization, as we did in the last session. I volunteered to do my monologue today, which was at a point where I'd thrown out all my movement/elevation scoring as my growing understanding made them seem all wrong, and nothing was seeming to make sense. What we worked out didn't involve any levels, which made me feel a little better about my frustration. I wasn't able to define 'snipe', though I thought of it as a woodcock like bird or a malicious or little and sneaky type person. I should have said so, as that is right. More confidence needed there. Kate is very nice, but she is one of those people where my confidence fades more easily. I should figure out why.

Anyway the work was making my focus and intention sharper. It felt exactly like the same work in the comic scenes in acting and the prop exercise in movement. Keeping the action internal and external, simple and clean reads better to the audience. That is more important than my personal experience. Also, if I am clearer for the audience, I will get more back from them, and I believe that is the essence of what keeps me challenging myself, that gift of energy from the audience. This year of a nearly monastic existence is only the most recent example.

Acting: We went over our collages. It was interesting, especially the insight or hits others had on their characters. We discussed the play and the characters some more, but didn't go over our research. Thank God! That was my final priority for the week, and I barely started, and had nothing of substance to say.

OBSERVATIONS/CLICKS:
I was a bit on edge, because I'd had to make health/homework/self-care balance decisions this week. Skipped some things to get some extra sleep and homework in, and had dinner with friends on both Wednesday and Thursday evenings, which took away from homework time, and kept me up late. As a result I wasn't able to get the research past the set up stage, but it made a difference emotionally.

I got more out of the classes, because my soul was refreshed. When I get more into the research later this week and during the holiday it will be with a vigor and interest I wouldn't have otherwise had. It was a good, though slightly guilt-ridden decision each night. Luckily that was something I was good at before turning into an artist. Make a decision, and move on. I'm even better now, especially because I'm more adept at actually making decisions. What use would it have been to decide to have dinner with Steve and Paula, and with Rachel the following night if I was feeling all guilty about the decision? That would have ruined the decompression I craved so desperately. I feel guilt as a factor at the time of making a decision, up until moment I have decided, then I'm done. So, not every good habit I have now is new. ;-)

I've a feeling with the intense rehearsal schedule coming up this recharging will be crucial. This coming Tuesday is our last day of class, except for Stage Combat, which will continue. All the rest of our class time will be devoted to rehearsals, with the half of the cast I'm in working with John, and the other half working with George as director. I'm looking forward to rehearsals in a big way. Scared too. Isn't that always the way? Funny. When I took those beginning acting classes I thought I'd eventually learn to get over the fear. Instead I embrace the fears as gifts. We are a happily contrary lot, actors. If you don't agree, fuck off in your own gleeful way.